Monday, November 1, 2010

The Bleeding Heart

Love? We think about it, sing about it, dream about it, lose sleep worrying about it. When we don't have it, we search for it; when we discover it, we don't know what to do with it; when we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pain and pleasure. Be we can't predict which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define, impossible to live without.

Sometimes, you just have to stop caring,
You have to turn off all emotion and feelings,
To protect yourself from getting hurt...
You have to stop caring about what other people
Think of you and just be yourself.

You have to hide it all and not let anyone
Know how you feel or what you think
You have to put a smile on your face and pretend everything is fine.
Even when it’s not...sometimes that's the only way to...
save yourself from = a b r o k e n <3

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? 
It makes you so vulnerable. 
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...
You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. 
Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you
crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love~

Do you want to know what my problem is?
I will tell you what my problem is…
I love you. I love your name, I love the way you look at me, I love your
gorgeous smile, I love the way you walk, I love your beautiful eyes, I
love the sound of your laugh, i love the way you get mad, i love the
way i dont understand you at all. I love the way I can be having the
worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I
love how when you touch me I get weak,
thats my problem...

I’m a liar because I wont tell you everything
I’m stupid because sometimes im wrong
I’m ugly because my face isn’t perfect
I’m a pushover because I like making people happy
I’m a loser because I’m a not friend with your group
I’m fake because I’m too nice
I’m weird because I’m not like you
I’m fat because I eat when I’m hungry.
I’m clingy because I don’t like to be alone
I’m insecure because I care about what people think of me.
I’m no fun because I'm not always hyper?
Don’t try to tell me who I am
Because I already know!
Love hurts. I say that because I know. 

Love is... 
or was amazing. It's an incredible feeling to know what he's going to say. It's more
incredible the way he has me on the edge of my seat because he's so
completely random, I will never know what's coming next.
It's hard to explain, but he filled some void in me, and now here without him, I'm
missing something again.
I wonder if it will ever truly, whole heartedly be filled again. I just don't want to know what it's like to hurt anymore...
My heart aches for the sound of your heart beating together with mine~

Other news : Mr Takeshi Shudo(pokemon creater) RIP

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