Monday, February 14, 2011

My Life

I am a child,
The one you left behind.
I stand in tears and watched you live your life,
No one understood why did I cry.
How can you do this to me?
Rubbing it in my face you think this is funny?
While your having your life did you ever think what will happen to us,
The only people who sees you clearly inside.
They think your this perfect being,
While they don't know who are they really seeing.
So while you laugh and pretend to be perfect,
I'm the one who keeps getting hurt.
I wish it was like before, 
but no longer will I deal with the lies.
And now you wonder why am I like that,
Just know that it was you who made me this way.


The cuts that once bled,
The pain that was once present,
Has now passed, 
And all that's left, 
Are the scars that shed blood.

You send the demons,
The darkness,
The cold, 
The fear,
The pain, 
The doubt,
You let them bury deep into my soul.


You didn't have to hurt me, 
I couldn't tell anyone,
No matter how many times I pleaded with god,
You never stopped to ask if you were hurting me,
All I wanted was to be set free.

This smile gets even more fake everyday,
Every breath I take feels like it will be the last,
Dying inside,
The pain never ends,
You don't even know.


I'm slowly dying,
On the inside,
My throat is is throbbing,
From my screams.

My tears are drying,
On the outside,
But I'm still sobbing,
My heart is ripped at the seams.

The outside world snows cold,
I watch it coat the streets,
How lovely would it feel to lie in that purity.

After everything I've been told,
After my silent shrieks,
My growing wish to die,
Painlessly and quietly.

I know who I am,
I know where I stand,
Forever trapped here


Only now do you see me,
and only because of this scars you now notice me.
Only now you hear me,
and only because this words are stained with pain.
Only now do you believe me,
and only because of the blood I've shed.
Only now do you ask me,
and only because my death would be a burden.
Only now do you say you care,
and why?

Do you think you can change anything?
Do you think you'll be the one to change my mind?
You wonder, don't you?
You only pay attention because you are curious.
Curious of these scars and cuts,
Curious of the tears that are streaming down my face.
Only now your curious,
and only because you think I'm crazy.

Perhaps I am,
Only I myself will know,
and only because I'm the one living my life.



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